Worried About Being Misunderstood in Therapy?
- gillormsby1
- May 26
- 3 min read
If you’ve reached out to a therapist previously, only to leave feeling judged, criticised or more guarded than before, you’re not alone. Well-meaning therapists can sometimes unintentionally undermine a client’s lived experience, which can be damaging, leaving you with questions and maybe some new worries. Many people that I work with come to me saying, 'my last therapist didn't feel quite right'.
If you’re looking to restart therapy now, this might feel like a risky time for you. ‘What if it happens again? What if I have to explain or defend who I am?’
Therapy shouldn’t feel like that. If that’s an experience that you’ve had, I’m sorry.
When therapy hasn’t felt quite right before.
This might look like a therapist being a little too curious about a topic of identity or a way that you live your life. What should be a supportive space can start to feel like somewhere you have to… justify yourself.
We are living in a world where different lifestyles, identities and ways of being can be found at the touch of a button, and with that brings infinite possibilities. This can be a difficult thing for some therapists to deal with; they are also human beings with their own set of baggage and assumptions. Not everyone nails it all the time, including myself. I’m actively engaged in the process of working on it, though.
You shouldn't have to educate your therapist
It sounds obvious but it’s true. I’ll believe you, not ask you to justify, not ask you to prove. I’ll do my very best to meet you where you need me to, because I trust you to be the expert in your own life. You’ve been there the whole time.
What feeling truly met in therapy can be like
I don't impose the agenda, you do, so this will look and feel different depending on what your unique story is. It's crucial that we work out together what's important for you to feel safe. Collaborative exploration is crucial when we're working on the project of you.
I strive to bring thoughtful curiosity, respect for self-definition, room for uncertainty, and permission to show up as you are.
You don't need everything figured out to begin
If all this sounds like a lot, that’s understandable. I’ve spent the last few years thinking about this from an academic and clinical perspective so that I can be the best possible therapist for you, wherever you are in your journey.
Life a hot mess? Unsure what the right words are? That’s all good, it’s not your job to have it all sorted out right now. You’re busy coping. I’d be thrilled and honoured to embark on the messy project of working out what feels right for you, if you’d like that.
This space is for
Anyone who’s tired of being misinterpreted. This can and often does include gender-diverse clients, as well as those under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. I also find myself working more and more with people who engage in kink/bdsm or other non-traditional, sexual- or fetish-based practices.
I also welcome those wary of therapy. If you’re wary - that means that you’re expecting something bad to happen! I don’t expect you to trust me straight away. I’m very patient; therapy with me is on your terms, and your timeline. You shouldn’t have to brace yourself.
More broadly, I find that thoughtful, self-aware people seem to enjoy working with me. Do you live in your own head? Find that you have a drive to intellectualise? Struggle to identify your emotions, or feel your emotions very loudly? Let's work with that.
If any of this sounds like it might be you, I’d be happy to have a casual chat with you so that you can see if you’d like to work with me.
You’re very welcome to get in touch!
I welcome questions and would gladly help you figure out if I'm the right person for you to talk to. I offer a free initial consultation call of 15 minutes, which is bookable here.
You can send me a message in the Contact page and I'll get back to you via email.
Comments